Surprise Truck

Okay, I said that the last two films would have to be pretty bad to ruin this year's show.

Alan Jones, Ian Rattray, Paul McEvoy and Greg Day have put together a great and eclectic mix of horror (and associated genre) films since 2000. I should tot up how many films I have seen at Frightfest and indeed how many DVDs I own because of them. There are always less successful ones or less my taste, but this year the bar seems to have been raised all round.

Day 1: Don't Be Afraid of the 3D

In ascending order of enjoyment:

Theatre Bizarre
I made changes to my Friday work plans so I could stay out late for this one. Mostly because of the involvement of Richard Stanley, so let's get that out of the way first. It was okay, which is technically a massive disappointment for the man who has two films in my all time top 50. This has some of the hallmarks of his work, and was probably the most like those old Saturday night Armchair Thrillers. Perhaps I am just not scared of toads any more? Eyeball fluid draining heroine was just that idea with no story. The other stories were nothing to write home about. Actually, the framing sequence starring Udo Kier was better than all of the stories except The Accident, which was by far the best and I wish it had been shown as a short film in its own right.

Final Destination
A reversal of expectation. This was fun, the gratuitous 3D was less intrusive than I thought it would be, and the action scene on the bridge was exquisitely shot. Even though I found the 1st FD film uninspiring, this one was decidedly watchable. Formulaic it might be (mostly odious series of victims, a series of set-piece deaths strung together by hokey dialog), but sometimes that's still worth looking at.

Don't be Afraid of the Dark
I had high expectations of this, as Troy Nixey's Jenny Finn is one of my all time favourite comics mini-series. This did not disappoint. Performing the remarkable task of getting over my dislike of cute/scary children in horror (something previously only possible by doing stuff like having Renee Zellwegger play the "heroine" and me automatically wanting her character to die horribly). It's all about the girl and the house, with Katie Holmes in excellent supporting role (and Guy Pearce playing Mark Wahlberg as someone on the FF forum pointed out - could be worse, he could have gone for a Kiefer Sutherland in Mirrors!).
Spooky, scary, even when the CGI scuttering things turn up.


Day 2: Rednecks from Hollywood and Hebrews
The Glass Man
My good friend Steve Spartak used to do a stand up routine called the Glass Man.
This was not that. While it has a core of a good story, two very likable central characters (and certainly in Andy Nyman, a very likable star), both Karen and I felt bored by this. Perhaps mental breakdown films have to try a bit harder for me (as a psychiatric nurse). This could have been a fun hour long Armchair Thriller. Someone should bring back that and let Andy Nyman have the keys to the series.

Tucker & Dale vs Evil
Perfect antidote to the preceding film. Takes the "college kids go to a shack in the woods" genre cliches and shakes them from the tree. A duo that can do for rednecks what Bill and Ted did for slacker dudes. Top splatter comedy, unforced character moments, and potentially a buddy horror film to match the golden days of Abbot and Costello.
A very subtle similarity to the film of the day:

Rabies
Billed as an Israeli slasher movie, but cleverly subverts that early on, with the assembled cast of forthcoming victims including the Geek, the Jock, the Airhead, the Illicit Couple (did I get that right?!), but with the right mix of anticipated deaths and wanting to see some survive. The humour is spot on, the horror has wit (but not charm, I'm not some sort of psycho). Would have been a better choice for the main screen than several I saw.
My one regret was that I had to rush out past the two directors, who were sat next to me throughout. Hope you heard me laughing guys, good luck with this excellent film.

Day 3: Internet Trolls, Killer Sperm, Remake with Fangs and Torture Porn Goes Indie.

The Wicker Tree
Suffers from over-played links with the Wicker Man. Same director, and certain stylistic similiarities.
On that note, it was not the worst "Pagan Country Bumpkins" film, nor were it's poor song choices as bad as the film that was (frightfest fans will know which film I mean, but see below).
Putting aside the hilarious concept that C&W Born Agains should go to the "Scotland - England Borders" to save "The lost folks of Scot-land", this was played as a horror-com, but sadly fell between two milking stools.
Cowboy for Jesus keeping his hat on in church, on hunting horse and in bed ... !
The sexy cast mostly channelling that one from Birds of a Feather.
A privately-owned nuclear reactor.
Sigh.

Having said that, this was the best day of Frightfest I can ever recall.
I have no major complaints about the other films I saw today (here they are in order of preference).

Panic Button
Low key take on the perils of social networks. Plenty of tension, though perhaps not up there with Cube for the paranoia of a captive group who have to collaborate or compete with internecine rewards. The four folks fit squarely in their victim categories: dickhead, innocent mother, fallen woman, emo with a secret. The story moves nicely along, and has a killer reveal at the end.

Fright Night remake in 3D
Yes, that title contains two irksome facets of the modern movie industry.
The 3D is rather unnecessary here, but the cast are good (especially Farrell's brooding intimidating neighbour) and the update of Roddy MacDowall's horror show host by David Tennant pleased me more than his gurning Doctor Who. Nice nod to the original in the make-up of Amy-the-girlfriend (at a key moment which I shall not divulge for fear of spoil- actually if you are under 30 you may have an excuse for not knowing what I am talking about, but don't look at the original's movie poster before watching this film, okay?)

Chillerama
In the wrong hands this could have been less fun.
What we have here is an affectionate tribute to B Movies and Drive In Cinemas.
Zom B Movie by Joe Lynch is the framing sequence. Pop corn carton gags, guys and chicks making out, gore, splatter etc FUN
Wadzilla (Adam Rifkin) is  best summed up by the tag line "a guy that goes to get his sperm count raised, and it creates one big sperm that attacks New York City".
Tim Sullivan's I was a Teenage Were Bear is both a teen wolf and teen beach party flic with a gay spin (some folks I heard chatting about the film mistakenly read this as homophobic, but methinks it was the opposite). Songs such as "Love Bit Me On The Ass" and "Do The Were Bear (and let the Were Bear do you)" might not have been allowed in the 1960s pop charts, but "Don't Look Away" might have been a number 1.
The Secret Diary of Anne Frankenstein is the one that gives away the genesis of this film: the kind of chat you have late night in a bar when you come up with hilarious titles for films :-)
And Adam Green's film (which we saw previewed last year) remains a Mel Brooks pastiche of 1940s horror.
Excellent late night fun.

JOINT FIRST
Troll Hunter
Hand-held camera films are surely a spent force. But this film carries it off with aplomb.
Three film school students set off to investigate illegal bear hunting and their footage shows a secret government ecological department at work. There's no point trying to avoid the surprise that they find (with the title of the film not being up to Cloverfield standards of obscurantism), but the important thing is that the cast are engaging and the footage is wonderous and awe-inspiring. Norwegia should get all the ensemble horror films, as they do them so well.

The Woman
Disclosure: I was going to miss this for The Devil's Business in the discovery screen.
When a couple of FF friends said they were involved, I felt I'd like to see it.
And wow, am I glad for that act of loyalty.
I missed the start, but have since had the gaps filled in, but arrived just as the woman was being tied in the out house. The thing that elevates this above torture porn (and I should say above Martyrs) is the horrible thought that the father (amazing performance by Chris Cleek who comes across as a charming Will Ferrell-alike in his community while being every bit the Norman Bates in private) and his family actually do appear "normal".
There's the remarkable performance of Pollyanna McIntosh as a sad participant in her captivity rather than a victim. Also the older daughter's emo reworking of an indie film I shall not name for fear of spoilering this. Do you know what I mean? All packaged in non-voyeuristic camera work and topped off with a soundtrack by Sean Spillane that had me thinking I'd unearthed a secret new album by the likes of The Decemberists, Bright Eyes and M.Ward. I would say this gets my film of the weekend nomination.


Shorts & Trailers: Killer Bananas, Alexei Sayle's Monsieur Aubergine and the Beach Monsters and a quiet moment of thoughtful remeniscing.

This was definitely the best collection of shorts I can recall. Not one that wasted our time.
Alistair - perhaps a predictable home invasion twister but atmospheric effects worked for me.
Demonitron - AIIEEEEE!!!! MY EARS!!! A fun pastiche of horror trailer cliche and up there with DON'T! We discussed wanting to see the film featured, but I'd prefer it to remain a hypothetical entity.
Brutal Relax - Spanish Alexei Sayle look alike told to relax on the beach, with some of the most hilarious splatter (basic red gore when beach invaders attack the bathers, but cartoon green slime once our hero loses his "relaxing" walkman music).
Banana Mo'Fo (not actual title). Revenge of the yellow fruit that has seen its kind mashed, sliced, liquidised and placed in erotic comedy positions. I preferred Brutal Relax which immediately preceded it, and also Last Post which followed it.
Last Post - director Axelle Carolyn joked that her quiet contemplative film might not be ideal to follow a film called Banana Mother****er, but her fears were not founded. The central performance by Jean Marsh was delightful in a charming romantic ghost story.
Cold Call - reminded me of French and Saunders take on "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" and quite fun.
Love Bug - not a splatter remake of Fatal Attraction, but another candidate for the strong woman genre this year !
Bats in the Belfry - excellent animation in the vein (he he he) of Samurai Jack. Hope it gets a series.
Flesh Art - Clivebarkeresque artist in a zombie apocalypse. Does what the title suggests.
Little Munchkin - Spooky xmas adoption fable. The lead actress Gwyneth Keyworth is worth looking out for, her munchkin is evil!

Shown at other times
Bad Moon Rising - straightforward but entertaining werewolf in a flat action.
Shifter - felt like a snapshot of a movie or even the final episode of an action series.

Trailer of the weekend: COCKNEYS VERSUS ZOMBIES notably for the scene where zimmer frame toting Richard Briers is chased by a zombie.
(Mind you, even Strippers Vs Werewolves looked good in trailer ;-) )

Day 4:

Sint
The dutch version of Saint Nicholas involves scary blacked up dwarves instead of elves. And here, Santa returns when there's a full moon on 5th December - TO STEAL CHILDREN !!!
Watchable fun, but not up to Rare Exports standard.

The Innkeepers
Ti West's brooding slow story development (qv House of the Devil) is not for everyone, but works for me.
What
we have here could be an indie classic if at the end, the two excellent
leads go their own separate ways in a bittersweet romantic comedy.
Instead we have a rewarding film about the most spooky deserted haunted
hotel since the Shining.

Kill List
Apparently a Guy Ritchie style tale of ex-military hit men, but watchable thanks to central cast of Neil Maskell and Michael Smylie plus Myanna Buring. Supporting roles also strong, especially Emma Fryer (although I had to get over thinking "PSYCHO PAUL!" in a Manchester accent at first). However as Jay (Maskell) gets drawn deeper into his latest emotive assassinations, the story gets weird and the film escalates to one of the highlights of the festival.

Day 5: DO NOT REVIEW THIS FILM, Pretty In Gore and Fright Fest 2011 fades to grey.

Inbred
Not much to say about this. Seen it before thanks to Peter Jackson and The League of Gentlemen. Was another one of those "Northerners" films (see Eden Lake), although at least that was lampooned here. Not funny enough, not grotesque enough. Fell between its own stool jokes.

A Night In The Woods
We were asked not to review this. I am sure some people will like it.
Instead of a review, here is an unrelated clip.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qyfz2DFZ9OA

A Lonely Place to Die
Beautiful scenery. Melissa George in the Shauna MacDonald role. Quite taut climbing thriller until they get to the remote scottish town that has some sort of goth parade going on. Nicely directed, but ending frightfest on this kind of scene was a tad disappointing. Not bad enough to ruin the "best ever Frightfest" but had me going home instead of joining the hordes at the Phoenix.

But let's not end on a downer.
Deadheads
A hilarious (and clever) twist on the zombie genre. Two lead actors who carry off their roles with charm and a nod to the pair in American Werewolf. Supporting cast of caricatures works well in this context. Cheese is my new favourite zombie (recalls Bub in Day of the Dead). Veers towards mawkish romance a couple of times, but mostly a buddy zombie movie worth a look. My only complaint is (a silly one) that they should have ended with "Don't You Forget About Me" as a further tribute to John Hughes.

Sennentuntschi
When a mute woman arrives in a remote town in the Swiss alps, the priest seems to know that she is evil, and the local police man has to protect her from superstitious townsfolk. Roxane Mesquida gets a close second to The Woman's lead for performance of the weekend. Once again, lovely scenery behind the tale. A couple of unjustified character acts do not mar what is a fine dark fable.


My Top Five (not in order as that order keeps changing) from the 20 films I watched:

Kill List
Troll Hunter
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
The Innkeepers
The Woman

plus Chillerama and Tucker and Dale vs Evil get special mentions as Frightfest highlights.

When I first moved to London, we lived out in the deepest suburbs of Sutton in Surrey - Banstead Hospital actually, made famous by Spook Millinegg and Syd Barrett among others.
Being 20-somethings from the sticks (aka 2nd biggest city in my case, but the sticks thing stands to this day) we would take every opportunity to go into London, and quickly identified The Rupert Pupkin Collective as a place to go.

It was one of the first improv comedy clubs anywhere - set up by Steve Steen and Jim Sweeney who had flirted with being the Ant & Dec, Trevor & Simon, DickandotherDick of their time on kids telly. They invited some top comedians and actors from the comedy world: I know their guests included John Sessions, Ruby Wax, Emma Thompson, Robbie Coltrane (maybe just at the bar), Julian Clary, Steven Frost, Mike McShane, Greg Proops and probably most of the people you remember from the UK television series that was based on it - Who's Line Is It Anyway?

Some time after the shows stopped the Television show began, but it was quickly usurped by the celebrated stars of TV comedy, and we were to see lesser talents but bigger stars do the Sweeney and Steen routine where one of them operated the other's hands. The only time that was ever funnier than when Jim and Steve did it at the Donmar Warehouse was when I was Chris Heatley's arms at his wedding and me having successfully lit and flipped a cigarette into his mouth, he proceeded to ask his new wife to dance ... with my arms doing the dancing (I would not have misbehaved, Angie!)

It was only recently when I was connected to the world of Twitter that I discovered that Jim Sweeney has multiple sclerosis and was telling the world about his experiences - via you tube - part entertaining, part empowering, and often quite scathing, but less about that, suffice to say he chooses his targets like Steve Gerber's Marvel comics hero, Foolkiller - but he "kills" in the way that a good comedian should. http://twitter.com/aJimSweeney

Which is why his most recent message is all the more powerful. He talks openly about taking control of his life and death, and considering the future that his condition holds for him. And I'd say that anyone dealing with similar emotions will gather some positive energy - to use however they choose - from this:
http://mrjimsweeney....-unscathed.html

I draw the line at Richard Dawkins right now, but maybe I will come back to those delusions after working through the Cosmos and The Ascent of Man.

"Appreciate the value"

It's that time again.


Hatchet 2
A perfect opener, Adam Green is a good friend of Frightfest (his comedy short films with Joe Lynch are "Blair Witch Project" this year - last niight we had Best Songs In Horror), and we know what we're getting from this light-hearted slasher. We had laughs, increasingly gross tool shed murders, and the classic woman surivor ending.
Tony Todd (Candy Man) and Kane Hodder (Friday 13th and more horror films than you can shake a machete at) have stayed around after that premier but I have not yet found the courage to speak to them ! If you enjoyed Hatchet this is a better film but they are both loving tributes to the genre. While we were talking to friends outside the cinema yesterday, Hodder walked behind Karen in a totally casually manner and it was a little scary, but not as scary as the autograph hunters.


(These people are outside the cinema all day and see NO FILMS.)

Primal
Aussie film #1 sees the classic van of young people on their way to deserted mountain: handsome one, traumatised one, comedy one, slutty one, screamy one, other one.
They are off to see some ancient paintings which we have seen painted in prehistoric times by someone murdered horribly. The Incident happens in quite a surprising way, then the victim starts getting sick. There's some excellent scripting of their arguments about what to do, and while the ending is not a complete surprise, and it's a bit rushed, that does not detract from the film.

Isle of Dogs.
Firstly the soundtrack music was mostly brilliant. Unfortunately it was trowelled on in scenes that did not need it and WAY TOO LOUD.
What begin as a film noirish sub-Shane Ritchie english gangster romp (I mean Guy Ritchie, but now I come to think of it both) seemed to have too many films in mind: The Cook The Thief His Wife and Her Lover, aforementioned gangster genre, some slasher movies. And rather oddly, a Brian Rix farce. (The apparently jokey moments appear out of nowhere, They could learn a lot from TCTTHW&HL about how to make a gang boss menacing. Shouting a word repeatedly is not the way. A mug with "The Boss" was funny though).
It was silly. Strip out some of the excesses and it was well acted, and a half decent story, but unfortunately that was buried. Do Not See.

F
We did not watch this as we intended to see it later and the Discovery screen had a synopsis that grabbed our attention.
Word from our FF pals who saw it was that it's an excellent film.

But we saw
Outcast
The least important fact is that Karen Gillan makes an appearance as a scottish girl.
The film's set on an estate in Edinburgh, but the Jakeys are the least of our worries. A mother and son arrrive, obviously on the run, and they hide with a series of glamours and magical wards. They are being pursued by the superbly menacing James Nesbitt - if you've seen him in that Jekyll thing, subtract the melodramatic scenery chewing and replace with actual threat. There is a central romance elegantly portrayed by the two actors, and the family's heritage among the Celtic fairy folk is told in a very modern urban context. Easily the best film of this year so far, and all on a fraction of the other films' budgets. Out in December, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
(comics nerd aside: I wish Hellblazer stories had this style of horror and drama.)

Red Hill
Not really a horror, but enough genre points to make the grade. It's a dark western, but set in a modern Australian rural community. Jimmy Conway escapes from prison after 19 years and returns to the town where he was sent there for a series of murders. The new cop in town is played by Sooky Stackhouse's brother and he actually carries the role with a lot of star quality. The story and script are excellent, and remarkably they manage to incorporate some light-hearted stuff throughout the film, never forced and cleverly as this puts a perfect context on those typical genre moments when you go DON'T GO IN THERE! It's got more in common with The Unforgiven and No Country For Old Men than Wolf Creek (the same production company made it). Australia does westerns way better than USA these days.

Simon Rumley's "Red White and Blue" was one of the films I was looking forward to most at Frightfest as his film "The LIving and The Dead" was a very moving highlight of a couple of years ago. This turned out to be similarly understated but quite a different film. "A slacker revenge movie", so they say - delicately acted given the nature of the story - Noah Taylor is remarkable as the guy who befriends our fallen heroine. As he says in his interview, everybody cares for someone.
It's brooding and violent in a way that the Coen Bros "No Country For Old Men" was probably supposed to be.
You genuinely get to share some of what the central characters are motivated by.

Some of the trailer is nsfw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QplWfT_-Si8
my main warning is that you will lose some of the impact of the film if you watch this so just watch some of it.
Or none of it and watch the film instead.

You can listen to this up until Noah Taylor mentions his wardrobe without giving too much away, but there are a couple of moments of (Amanda Fuller and Noah Taylor) character discovery that you might want to discover for yourselves. You should definitely listen afterwards

http://twitchfilm.net/news/2010/09/chris-and-phil-present-everything-you-could-ever-want-to-know-about-simon-rumleys-red-white-and-blue.php

http://www.film4.com/features/article/simon-rumley-on-red-white-blue


There's talk of A Serbian Film being shown elsewhere by the Frightfest folks.
I am not sure, but have to say that the "controversy" makes me want to watch it in a cinema as a matter of principle.

So Frightfest is over. And I have a hangover from the party - just as well I planned a day off today.

Yesterday ended with Last Exorcism which is surprisingly (and deliberately) good fun, as well as scarifying. I'll save discussion of it til a few more folks have seen it (and with spoilers).
It was a highlight of the weekend, but not the best of the day.

That would be The Dead, a zombie movie set in Burkina Faso. It's beautifully filmed, proper slooooow relentless zombies, the two leads, Rob Freeman and Prince David Osei play off each other so well (in a format similar to the also good Monsters). If this had no zombies in it, I would expect them to be nominated for stuff. Cracking suspense and a film of brutal (somewhat allegorical) gore.
http://www.thedead-movie.com/

Outcast remains my favourite, but Monsters runs very close second.
This is a quite amazing film, given its ultra low budget. The SFX are a minor part of the film which reminded me of Until The End Of The World with its scenery and soundtrack combined. Again the two leads play off each other quite well, with what some people will no doubt refer to as "sexual tension" but works beyond that level (is there such a thing as "platonic tension"?)
As mentioned, we were left in a very nice mood by this film, so opted to miss the late film.
http://www.monstersfilm.com/

I should list the others I saw (18 in total) but will come back to them.

However, yesterday we saw the best film Jake West (Razorblade Smile, Evil Aliens) has ever made - his documentary about video nasties:
VIDEO NASTIES: MORAL PANIC, CENSORSHIP AND VIDEOTAPE
Well put together by West and Marc Morris, manages to give honest airtime some of the people who were at the centre of the moral panic of the 80s (although slightly distorting the context for purposes of lampoonery). I would like to point out that I have only seen 7 of the films that were banned
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_nasty
but I seem to recall seeing Dead and Buried at the cinema before the furore.

My list in full:
The Burning, Dead and Buried, Driller Killer, Evil Dead, I Spit On Your Grave (*I'll tell you of the remake later), Tenebrae, Zombie Creeping Flesh.
The only two on that list I might be interested in seeing are
Nightmares in a Damaged Brain and Zombie Flesh Eaters (http://www.eatmybrains.com/showreview.php?id=63)
The DVD set will be joining the Brown Movie Archive in October.

To sum up my views on Mr Clegg's discussions with Mr Cameron (and Mr Brown):

They should not form a coalition, but agree to stand back and let the Tories form a minority government.
Lib Dems got many of their votes as they opposed the Tories more than the Labour party did.
Similarly they should not consider a deal to support a Labour government (as much as I'd have prefered that).

Every party is making their own interpretation, but the main parties come down to "The Other Side Lost" or if they are being honest "The Other Side Did Not Win".

The fact that the LDs earned around 150 seats yet got only 57 should show everyone how important it is to change the way we vote. Having said that, my support for some form of PR does not mean they should take part in an unequal coalition with the Tories just to get a foot in the door. That referendum should be a fundamental part of the agreement.

As the more important Mister Brown (my Dad) said, a PR govt is likely to set up these sorts of discussions (and future constitutional changes need to clarify at what point the sitting Prime Minister should hand over the keys). However I strongly believe it is wrong to pretend that any formal coalition based on this election would be a fair compromise - we did not vote for parties based on that system. I bet there plenty of tactical voters who would have been prepared to vote for someone else if their vote "counted". Actually I'd have been more likely to vote Labour last Thursday - although my stated reasons for voting Lib Dem were political disagreements with GBs Labour.

There's a debate to be had between wholesale PR and the single transferable vote. I'd prefer PR, but I am not sure it would be a good idea to complicate matters with a different voting system at other times. Also something needs to be done for the recognition of good (and bad) local MPs - perhaps the current list of local candidates plus a box for which party you want to govern and then the make up of the "Lords" is decided on the latter? I haven't thought that through.

So step 1 is the voting reform which should be agreed BEFORE the next election, but there are several other facets of the system  that should be changed.

2) The manner in which an MP can be deselected by all constituents.

3) The election of the House of Lords. One colleague of many years who is a very old school conservative (some of you may be able to deduce who that is) suggested we keep the 1st past the post system in the Commons and have PR in the Lords, which is a compromise of sorts and could be a decent 1st step but I would say not enough.
(Some pundit on the BBC just offered the laughable opinion that the 1st past the post system was good enough for such great democracies as India and USA. Clearly not. But the USA two house system should give whoever sets this up a few ideas.)

4) The entitlement of MPs to claim expenses, especially buying homes - perhaps more of them would support more affordable rented accommodation for everyone?

5) The ability of Scottish, Irish & Welsh MPs to vote on English matters where they can overturn them back at home (I know the SNP tend not to, but Scottish Labour MPs have supported way too many). The issue of foundation hospitals/trusts is my personal bugbear, but student fees and even Heathrow's 3rd runway plus several other issues have been carried by the scottish labour vote.
For my Scottish friends, I don't believe devolution would be good for anyone, but there must be a much fairer distribution of decisions on health, social care and education. Which probably includes the National Insurance Fund (oh Mr Clegg, if you do cross over to the dark side, make sure the Tories drop their "Tax on jobs bullshit")

6) (Not least by any means) The manner in which people can vote needs adjusting so that we do not get people turned away. Even though you have to wonder why folks left it so late in some places where much bigger areas had no problems. For me this should probably include a compulsory requirement to vote - even if it's for "None of the above".

Not "national don't vote Conservative day" or whatever they are calling it on Facebook (that's every day in our house*).

Vote for whoever you think will do the best job, or vote so that whatever party you dislike won't win your constituency.
Just vote.

I'm not too impressed with some friends on the internet sounding like Rik from the Young Ones with attacks on folks who might vote Tory. That's not how we do democracy, if you want that sort of thing go and live in America.

When you think about it, there's only around 10% of the population who decide who governs us - the floating voters.
This time we'll have three main parties (a different three depending on which part of the UK you live in) with around 20% of the vote plus whoever's changed their mind, which is no way to run a country if you ask me.

For me it's a shame that we don't get to vote for an all-party collective - and when I say "all party" I don't mean "all" since I  don't mean the BNP. I would say that the best party leader(s) and the best Chancellor would not come from the Tories or the Labour party. And there are maybe even one or two folks in the Tory party who can do a decent job (someone's got to replace George Galloway).

Hopefully, next time around (unless we get a Tory minority govt) we will probably have a better way to represent everyone's vote nationally, but this time, despite the "debates" we are not voting for Prime Minister but the party (or collective) that will choose him. Or her.

Oh, I am not voting for my usual preferred choice, Labour, for the second time in a row, for basically the same reasons as the last election - policies on foreign wars, the slow Torification of the NHS (yes they slowed it down from the Thatcher years, but Gordon Brown has overseen the return of the internal market - "Stealth Privatisation" if you like). Add to that two negatives - the emphasis on the crime/moral part of the "War on Drugs" rather than the health and social care part, plus Mandelson's Digital Economy Bill - and one positive - that I am voting Liberal to support the idea that they have a mandate to participate in Government AND to oversee that change to a form of proportional representation.


Some footnotes:
I have thought for a long time that my first vote went to the Conservative, Jocelyn Cadbury, but I just checked and I was wrong. In fact my first vote was Liberal in the 1982 by-election following Cadbury's death. So all you bandwagon-jumpers, join the back of the queue.
From then until 2005, I have voted for Labour candidates in elections - with an increasing gap between them and the Tory winning candidates (even when New Labour was booming). I am not what you'd call a floating voter, but what I have seen is the Labour party floating to the right and the Lib Dems increasingly impressive.

We have three good candidates - yes, even the sitting Tory MP - and our Labour one has the look of an old school socialist that I would very much like to see back in charge of the party, but Gordon Brown's New Labour have been edged out by becoming too "conservative"

*Mrs B always likes to wind me up with her preposterous claims of who she voted for, but it is to my regret that she voted for Jerry Sadowitz, but I didn't.

There. I said it.

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE.

There was an interesting news article about missing the point today on BBC Breakfast.

Via The Telegraph, the campaigning journal that ensured we'd never get to the bottom of the MP's expenses, we were told that SECRET cuts were being planned by "The Government".

Here is is the Telegraph's story from today.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/7529454/Hospital-wards-to-shut-in-secret-NHS-cuts.html

"Tens of thousands of NHS workers would be sacked, hospital units closed and patients denied treatments under secret plans for £20 billion of health cuts."

Now, there is some more detail of SHA proposals just given to the Health Secretary for consideration, and no doubt already-planned "efficiency savings" have been included. I wonder if they also include the trimming off of NHS resources via re-tendering to cheaper (sorry I mean "more cost effective")? I wonder if they include not spending all that money on computer systems that are not ready? I wonder if they consider saving money by having people more responsible for their health?

My favourite reinterpretation of fact is "The sick would be urged to stay at home and email doctors rather than visit surgeries, while procedures such as hip replacements could be scrapped. "
Interesting to note that inappropriate use of GP appointments and A&E services is a major cause of waiting times for people who are sick.

It's news from the very same paper that published the following story in December:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financetopics/budget/6781890/Severe-cuts-in-public-services-revealed.html
"In his pre-Budget speech on Wednesday, Mr Darling said that despite tight spending constraints in the years ahead, he would protect the budgets for hospitals, schools for at least two years from 2011. "

Which

And, it's the latest example of the "OUR SERVICES ARE BEING CUT" stories which are not in the slightest at odds with the fairly frequent commentary (often from the same people) suggesting the NHS and other public services are somehow protected from these sort of cuts (they are because the people who pay for them are more likely to need them at times of recession (or whatever we are meant to be calling it).

#100days Two big walks left, anyone who wants to join us on Monopoly (6/3) or Olympic (7/3) send me a message adeheathen@aol.com

Apologies to my loyal hordes of readers, as the updates have become sporadic of late.
Entering the final 20 days, here's some news of what happened in February so far.

There was some sort of evening event at the Tate and they had candles up the steps. What's the deal with that slogan across the top of the columns? Around the other side of Victoria, the Cockpit Steps near Old Queen Street (no comment). Third pic in this set is Wigram House which is where Karen and I lived at the time we first met, around 1988. Fifth floor in this photo was Karen's room. Tick!



A walk around the Thames local to home, it was quite a cloudy day which resulted in some moody photos. They ruined Hyde Park with that Xmas Fete Snow World Thing. The grass has been destroyed and it's still going be under repaire 2 months later. Chinese New Year seemed a bit quiet, but maybe I missed the dragon parade? Nice colours on the lanterns though.



On one walk I took photos of all the statues and sculptures of interest:


There was a special 100 Days "Plagiarism Week" where we were encouraged to borrow someone else's 100 day challenge. I was going to be at the Phonogram series 2 ending party (as were a few other 100 Days acolytes) so I decided to get some pictures of folks smiling in honour of Dominic's challenge. (Dom, you can have these to count towards your total.)
L to R we have Jamie McKelvie and Kieron Gillen (Phonogram Team), Nathan Hook (seated), Sean Azzopardi, and my Monopoly Walk companion Doug Townsend (we need to book the second half of that!)


In summary (image shows London walks only): 

Link to my google maps to follow.

This was a classic example of my optimistically flawed thinking.
"The route is 16 miles according to my Google maps plotting, which should be manageable in 6 hours at my average pace so far."

But then there is public transport to consider.
And the fact that when you're chatting as you walk you go at a more leisurely pace.
And of course the pubs.
(Actually, I discounted the pub crawl idea as 1: very unhealthy, 2: too time consuming, so I added a dice application to my phone and resolved to decide which streets to stop for refreshment using the trad.dice format. I "threw" a 3 and a 6 making Pentonville Road our first stop.)

I'll post another message about the detail of the trip (in case anyone wants to follow the route), but here is a summary based on my Twitter messages as we walked around yesterday. We made a couple of major changes on the way round, and I realise there's a better way to approach some of these sets.

No jubilee line = do not throw double six to start #100days 10:47 AM Jan 30th 
I had arranged to meet Doug at 11am at New Cross Gate. As the Jubilee line was out of action, it took me longer to get there (sadly Doug broke his usual habit and arrived early!) so we began at 11:20 ...

GO


Old Kent Road with one hotel, complete. 1st pint on pentonville rd around 1:30? #100days 12:12 PM Jan 30th
This turned out to be quite wrong, but mostly due to two 10 minute waits for the only buses we caught, followed by the addition of Marylebone via the tube (which on reflection was more sensible than considering going to Pentonville)

Whitechapel done now, pub stands in for hotel. It's getting chilly! #100days 12:53 PM Jan 30th
The pub was The Blind Beggar, but we did not drink there and I have changed my mind since the Salvation Army Hostel, Booth House, is a more fitting substitute.

We walked from Aldgate to Fenchurch Street Station and Liverpool Street Station, then got the Hammersmith & City Line to Baker Street being the closest stop to Marylebone Station. The walk to Kings Cross Station was mostly along Euston Road, the first of the Blues.

Four railway stations and on our way for a pint at last ! #100days about 24 hours ago
Faron Young "4 in the morning" followed by Prefab Sprout :) name that pub! about 24 hours ago
Dominic knows which pub this was, but does anyone else?

This long straight walk from Marylebone to Angel turned out to be more time-consuming than you'd think, so we started to review our plans.

Sorry, forgot to tell you, Blue Set complete, hotels on 2/3 (not Angel) #100days about 23 hours ago
Of course, The Angel IS a pub rather than a street.
Here we decided to switch the Mauve set around as it was easier to get the Northern Line back around and then down to Embankment for Northumberland Avenue. By the time we'd got to the end of Pall Mall it was starting to get dark, so we decided to end today's walk half way round the "board".

Ookay, I admit defeat and willstop today's walk at Free Parking in about an hour #100days about 22 hours ago
Even this was not the final cop out. As we had thrown a 4 and a 5 at the first pub, we were obliged to have a pint on Marlborough Street (or nearby). And it seemed silly to walk down to the rather dull Vine Street when we both needed the Victoria Line at Oxford Circus. So we went to the Clachan on Kingly Street. They had one of those quiz machines with the Monopoly game, so we ended the day on that, narrowly losing a prize due to the usual pub quiz machine trickery. (Doug has photos of that.)

We made it half way round. Not quite to Vine Street because the pub had a Monopoly quiz machine. 10.7miles 6hrs -90mins not walking #100days about 15 hours ago

http://bit.ly/9MOn4D for updated Monopoly map - 4 stations collected btw - starts again 13th Feb from Vine Street #100days

Heart around Victoria.


It looks like just a clever walk in the shape of a heart but there is more to it than that.
This is the area I've lived with Karen for around 20 years.
The start and end is that flat we've lived in for almost 95% of that time, and there's still more.

You see that little kink on the right hand "ventricle" ? Well I took more of a detour there, walking an extra street away from Rochester Row, because that's where Karen and I met, Wigram House on Thirleby Road, a nurses home back before the NHS sold off all it's accommodation.


On the corner of Thirleby & Francis Street is the Cardinal pub, where one of Karen's friends brought her sister who spoke very little english (they were spanish, the one who Karen knew worked in London) and who read our palms and predicted something along the lines of what we've had together for 20 years (and counting).

The walk passed our favourite local restaurant, The Mekong, and with the detour I was also able to visit the most excellent Rippon Cheese shop, purveyors of fine Guilty Pleasures. So, I'm sure you can agree, that heart has more than meets the eye.